Tag Archive: christianity


CHALLENGING CHRISTIANS #2

‎”Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.” 1 Samuel 15:22

(Although the following Facebook conversation is real – verbatim – names have been changed to protect the idiotic!)

Wordwurst More absolute meaningless gibberish! It is better to obey ‘whom’? And what sacrifice are you referring to? If god told me to kill my child, Samuel is saying that it would be better to obey than sacrifice? Sacrifice what? My child? I’ve heard mentally retarded children make more sense. What kind of sick, twisted mind can understand/believe in this Samuel asshole? Oh, I get it! Just mindlessly obey because if you try to understand you’re brain just turns to mush! It is better to hearken than the fat of rams? WTF?!

Charmley Context – Saul, Israel’s king under God, was given a specific order. He disobeyed and thought that he could cover it up by religious acts. One sentence taken from a speech is indeed rather difficult to understand. Put it in the context of I…srael in the period, and it makes sense. What is being said is that you should not think that God is pleased with you just because you’re going to Church when you’re also doing wicked things. Application: if you are fiddling the books, your going to Church will not make God pleased with you!

Wordwurst Which god?

Charmley Come on, this is a Bible quote, which do you think?

Wordwurst I believe only in the Luscious Lesbian Leprechaun goddess – the giant babe that gave birth to this whole universe. I have a book that tells the whole story. The bible is just made up.

Trevor  Is this guy for real or is he just a joke?

Wordwurst That’s exactly what I used to think when told about Jesus!

Trevor  Demonstrates Romans 1.

Richardson Certainly Wordwurst wouldn’t believe the only sufficient rule of faith, what arrogant apostate would?

Wordwurst Faith is a crutch for those who cannot face reality. Believing in things you have no proof for! Deluding yourselves with your fairy-tales. And then, if that wasn’t bad enough, spreading it like a virus to others. Now – that’s arrogant. To hell with faith. Give me truth!

Trevor  What is described is not faith but credulity. Faith, biblical faith, has specific content. Without that content it isn’t faith. You may object to the content, but slander, misrepresentation and mockery are not refutations, mere cant.

Wordwurst Can! Calling the truths I’m pointing out about your harmful and silly dogma slander, misrepresentation and mockery does not distract from the fact that people who believe in made-up, baseless superstitions, are deluded fools – like politicians – giving empty promises, telling lies to protect their guise… living quiet desperation lives! Let me ask you a serious question and see if you can answer straightforwardly, okay? What will happen to me when I die, based upon your ‘book’?

Trevor  I suspect you know the answer to your own question! Reading through your missives it is evident you merely engage in sneering without actually having a rational, intelligent, reasonable argument. What you need to do is ask what does Christianity teach. Then ask, does it stack up with Scripture. Then proceed to challenge from your own unbelief. Thus far it’s just what I said – mere cant and nothing more.

Baptist Church Dear Wordwurst, the wonderful thing about the word of God is that it is so clear about this question of what happens after death. If I believe in the Son of God I will enter eternal bliss. If not, eternal hell. Thank God, by his grace I will one day see him and be like him for I shall see him as he truly is! I pray you will be there too! Mark.

WW Thanks for answering. So, if I can not believe in this particular god of yours, he will banish me to eternal torture. Do you think that is moral?

Baptist Church If you had a dog and it never did what you wanted it to do and it started to bite your children, would it be morally acceptable to get rid of the dog?

WW I’ll be happy to answer any of your questions after I get clear about where you’re coming from. If I cannot believe in your god, do you think it is moral that I punished eternally for a finite crime? Do you think I deserve that? In your opinion, is it moral?

Trevor  So, you didn’t answer the question. Same old same old. Whinge, complain, mock and sneer, but not answer the question. The reality is, you cannot account for anything. You begin with the presupposition that authority rests entirely with you. …In your closed box you see nothing, hear nothing, your ‘discoveries’ and reasoning are all within that closed box. The Christian by contrast has a different presupposition. Using the previous illustration- the lid is open to let in the light. Yours is the closed mind, the Christian has the open mind. What you need to do is to repent for your sins.

Baptist Church WW, It is of no relevance where I am coming from. Your question was, what does the Bible say? I told you. You say you “cannot believe”. But is it not the truth that you do not want to believe? I do not know what you deserve. I am not your judge. I know that I only deserve hell apart from the grace of God in Jesus Christ. The call of the gospel is there for all who will hear it. May the Lord open your heart to his truth for his mercies sake. Mark.

WW Why do you continue to sidestep my simple question? What you need – if you want to continue this conversation – is to answer my question. Same old dodging the questions I always get from arrogant gits like yourself. You’re the one beginning… and continuing with presuppositions and I am seeking to understand. I’ll ask you once more and we’ll both know what’s happening if you are to frightened again to answer. If I cannot believe in your god, do you think it is moral that I punished eternally for a finite crime? Do you think I deserve that? In your opinion, is it moral? You claim that you don’t know what happens to me if I cannot believe in your god. You lying sack of crap! You know damn well what your contradictory book says. You’re just too scared to go down this road of inquiry with me because you know where its going and you’ll do anything to avoid it – like continue to to talk nonsense. What a coward!

Baptist Church To answer simply, Yes!!! Any crime against God is not considered finite. “Unless you repent you will all likewise perish” But I am sure you know the answer already!!

WW And do YOU think it is right/just/moral for any human being to be tortured in eternity for the finite ‘sin’ of not being able to believe in ‘god’?

Baptist Church I already answered that question. You need to read more carefully. Or maybe nothing that I would say would satisfy you? Why do you waste your time with people like me if you think I am so useless?

WW It’s not the same question. If you read more carefully, you’d see that. The difference is – do YOU think it is righ/just/moral. The truthful answer would satisfy me. And is it not you who is beginning to feel he is wasting his time with me… thinking you cannot convert me?

(after much time)

WW Yeah, I thought you’d both bail when the questions got difficult. ARBC – you are a bad parrot. Trevor, you are a simpleton prancing around behind what you think are cleverly constructed sentences. Being gay, how do you reconcile the bible’s insistence that homosexuals are an abomination? You should be out of the closet and out in the community helping other people like yourself to be proud of who they are – of what their parents and evolution made them. Lennon was right: god is a concept by which we measure our pain. Trevor, you must be in hell already. You need any help just let me know, kay? Now, enough of both your foolishness! See if you can speak for the next 48 hours without parroting your scriptures or mentioning god once. Betcha can’t! Brainwashed zombies have better thinking / reading / concentrating skills than the two of you put together! If that’s what being a christian is (a follower! – who wants to be a follower anyway? sheeple?) you can count me out. I lead and create my own path, thankyouverymuch! :0) ToodlePip!

Trevor  Your blurb is, sadly, like yourself, confused. Which is why you never actually answer anything. You merely throw invective because you have nothing. You raise the strange issue of sodomy. It is wicked and contrary to the faith. See Romans 1….Until you repent your thinking will remain irrational.

WW Sidesteppin’, pussyfootin’, the old soft shoe! You’re a wonderful little dancer, Trev – did you know that? If you find anything about my blurb confusing it is because your damaged/brainwashed mind is what is confused and in a state of delus…ion. I will, as I already said (what, you got a poor memory too?) happily answer any questions after you answer mine. If you are too much of a wallflower to do so, just admit it and you can give up. Otherwise, why not pretend to be a man and answer… mmmkay? (PS: You raise the issue of me raising the issue of sodomy… no, not really. I raised the issue that your filthy book asks for homosexuals like yourself to be put to death for being what god made them. How f*&^$d up is that? Even though suffering a deep and dark repression, do you really think the homosexuals god made – since he made everything – should have to be tortured for eternity for their finite crime? I mean, you actually claim to go along with that and think it is moral and just?) So, there you have it – the same question again, in another form. Answer if you can. Recant if you can’t!

Trevor  Phew. Let me repeat myself clearly.
1. Scripture lays down the way if salvation
2. That is the path we are to take
3. It’s ethics we are to follow
Your innuendos are false. Period

WW Yes, please, try to be clear this time.
1. Yes, but is it morally right?
2. Says who? The morons who wrote the book full of idiocy and contradictions? Talking snakes, man living in the belly of a whale, an all powerful god who cannot fight iron?
3. Who’s ethics? Those of the cretins who wrote the most hateful and dreadful book of all time? Worse than the Koran?
You’re presuppositions are built on bullshit. Full stop!
When are you going to stop being a sheep and think for yourself and stand up for who you really are, proud and with a straight spine? Stop letting down your side, Trev, they need you and you could really help… if you only had the guts. :0(

Trevor  I do not know what you mean. Clearly you are getting worked up- hence the expletives. Your duty now is to repent of your sin. Believe the gospel. Turn from sin. Cast off the unfruitful works of darkness and sin.

WW It’s no good talking to you, is it? You are like a broken record: repent, repent… how boring. Even if I could believe in your made up god (which I can no more do than believe in Santa) I would choose to give him the finger anyway. Satan is more noble and profound than the Abrahamic god – who’s kill count is astronomical compared to the devils! You think this is love and mercy – you keep it, if you like that sort of thing. Me, I would gladly spend eternity with Satan than with your god who would have me worshipping him all day! What a sad and pathetic little creature with a poor self-image and an out of control ego!

Baptist Church WW, I do not mind any argument you want to use but if you continue to use offensive and rude language I will have to delete you from my friends list. Please keep things at some level of decency. Mark.

WW Honestly, BC, I do not know what you mean. What offensive or rude langauage are you referring to? If you choose to interpret my words that way – well, that’s your right, I guess. For what its worth, I find your way of communicating to be …ignorant – but I don’t let it offend me. I am responsible for my feelings, not you. If you want to stick to the conversation and answer the question, let’s move on. If you want to use ‘being offended’ to take your ball home, so be it. What’s with the constant threats? ‘You’re going to go to hell!’, ‘I’m going to delete you’… ? Can’t you just stick to the discussion?

Baptist Church You are the one who brought up the whole issue of where do I think you are going when you die. Are you that worried about it? You must be I think.

Wordwurst Why would I be worried to return to the place I came? Black, unconscious nothingness. Peace. No fear. No pain. What I simply would like to know is do you think it is moral or just for me or anyone to burn for eternity for not believing in the god you promote? It’s a pretty simple question… ;0)

Baptist Church Yes, I do!!

WW Well, then that’s that. If you believe that, there’s something seriously wrong with you. No finite crime deserves infinite torture. The fact that you believe it does… what does that tell you? I mean, you’re saying that even if your very own child could not get him/herself to believe in this all merciful god, you’d agree that would be grounds for her eternal suffering. As a therapist, I would advise you to seek a professional. Imagine, as a result of not knowing your own moral compass, you will be steered by that of a ‘someone’ else you’ve heard tell of from people you’ve never met. If you do have children, I hope you don’t try to persuade them that that’s a good lesson for life. Only those who are morally bereft can cling to the disgusting morals written in a book by superstitious nincompoops!

Baptist Church Your use of the term “finite” is misleading. It is not the duration of the sin but the one to whom it offends that counts. If I murder someone in a moment of time I am worthy of death as a result. The gravity of all sin is that it is committed against an infinite and eternal God. My confidence is in the justice and mercy of this unchanging God. As Abraham said: “Shall not the judge of all the earth do right?”

WW Seriously, I don’t give a flying f*&k at a rolling donut what Abraham said. I know what’s right and wrong and don’t need you or any badly written book to tell me otherwise. If you need it, so be it.

‎© 2010 Wordwurst

The Bible Says…

‎”Thou hast forgiven the iniquity of thy people, thou hast covered all their sin.” Selah. Psalm 85:2

Dear Flock Member,

Covered their sins – with what? Covered them up?

Consider the mess the church is in today – all the decades of hushed-up child-abuse growing more audible.

Cover-ups eventually become discovered and uncovered.

Each human being is responsible for his/her own crimes and misdemeanours: nobody can be any one else’s scapegoat. It is a flawed notion, immoral, and accomplishes nothing of true value.

As more people become aware of this fact, the less people there’ll be blindly caged in the dark and disturbing cult called Christianity where the fear of ‘not being good enough for god’ is all consuming… like the ‘hell’ that is promised for those who fail to achieve ‘salvation’.

Salvation? From what? Our own superstition and stupidity? Our own bigoted beliefs and bad behaviour?

 There’s only one place you can go to get that kind of salvation – and that place is YOU. You will understand this when you grow out of childhood fantasies and face the reality of this material world – this one world and one life.

As the coach said to the team, ‘This is not a rehearsal – this is it!’

But what are Christians expected to do? Distract themselves and others from realising this wonderfully liberating fact: This is it! How? By diverting attention and focusing desires on feelgood fables and the false promise of an infinite future spent frolicking on fluffy clouds with friends and family – and the ‘father’ – in a happily-ever-afterlife of neverending adoration, praise and worship! When you slow down and think it through, you may find that this sugar-coated, air-brushed dream is really a nightmare you’ll soon be hoping to awaken from.

You want GOOD NEWS? Only you can save yourself. And, when you do, only you can take credit for it. If you fail, you must take credit for that also.

After you save yourself… then, if you feel so inclined, see if you can be of use to others by helping them save themselves, too!

Don’t worry: if it turns out that there really is a loving, all powerful, all merciful, omnific god, there’s no doubt that he’ll be more than satisfied with that. And if not, to hell with him! :0)

© 2010 Wordwurst

DOUG’S FINAL ENTRY #3 (END)

Chucky: Doug, I think its wonderful how you thought you were out the door to do some coke and then God lead you back to hear more about Jesus. You can’t realy stay away can you? Let me know when your born again.

Jeffrey: Whether you’re talking to the snow, the smoke, or the needle, the end result is the same. You in a small box and you don’t have the key. You rant against everything because it is the only way you can attempt to confirm to yourself that you… still have an identity. You know I know by what I say.

Doug: Sorry, Chuck, wrong again. Just made a call and had all the bitches and the party relocated here. We’re all laughin’ our asses off at the assinine bullshit you and your creepy friends continue to spew forth. I guess me and satan have managed to make you all stay here and face a little truth about yourselves. Let me know when you grow more braincells, a spine, and lose the sheep mentality, mmmmkaayyy? ;0) And, not, Jeff, I will not end up in a small box being slowly returning to the maggots from which you came because I am going to be stuffed and stay in my master’s house. When he croaks, well, then I hope a little boy buys me in a taxidermy shop! Whoof!

 

Sampson: Doug, what is love and what meaning does it possibly carry in an Atheistic materialistic world? Don’t you suggest we are all matter, falling through space? What different does it make one person loves another, or shoots them?

Doug: Ah – you just keep coming back for more! Yes, I know that you know of which you speak in this case, you ex-junkie, you! I do not, however, rant against everything, just mainly the hateful disease and evil lies you and your onerous religion spreads. And since you are not familiar with hearing the truth, it’s understandable you’d confuse it for a ‘rant’. Not that there’s anything wrong with a good old rant now and again… or a bark, or a howwwllllll!

Sammy baby – you’re question only goes to illuminate the fact that you are assholistic (meaning, an asshole at every level) and a total idiot as well. I guess a mind as small as yours can’t handle the complexities of living in the real world. If you think there’s any love to be had by believing in a book that says that it’s okay for one human to own another… well, you deserve to have an IQ of a fencepost.

Come on, ladies. I own you all with one hand tied behind my back! Can you not get a whole bunch more of you to take me on so that we can even up this fight a little bit in your favor? This is like shooting fish in a barrel! Amusing, but hardly challenging.

Sampson: Doug, how does Atheism suggest it’s “wrong” for one human to own another? Have you ever owned a pet? In Atheism, man has no more rights than any other animal.

Jeffrey: You wouldn’t know the truth if someone gave it to you to tie off with… You make that obvious by choosing to run from it into addiction.

Doug: Can’t you read, Sammy? The bible, I said. Try and read it sometime. And are you so stuck up your own butt that you seem to forget that you are an animal – an animal speaking to another animal, a dog – hell! A mere pup. You think you’re better than me, eh? Well, this world was a far better place for us dogs when you greedy, fucked up people came with your demented ideas about invisible men in the sky! Do you still believe in the god Thor? No? Oh – you fucking atheist piece of poop!

Your false god is a slave merchant and slave owner. And you the cowering-on-your-knees-facing-the-ground slave!

And Jeff – you know all about running away don’t you… from the truth, and the bullies who used to pick on you in school for being such a snotty little shit!

Doug: What?! Where’d all you sissy’s go? That the best you got? My god (The Luscious Lesbian Leprechaun) owns your feeble god any day! You’re not worthy to suck her big toe!

Chucky: Good Doug. Thanks for bringing people over your house so they can see too. Thats ussualy how street ministry works. The preacher preaches, God sends someone to mock him wich causes a crowd and then during it all some bystandard hears the gos…pel which leads them to salvation. Its like street preaching on face book. AMEN AND BELIEVE THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST BEFORE ITS TO LATE.

Doug: Too late, Chucky. They’ve already been saved. We hang with the one true god – and she’s grooooovy! You deny her existence. You goddamned atheist!

Only weak minded scaredy cats like you bunch of wriggling worms stoop to the squalid position of making idle threats. We, on the other hand, are above such silliness! If you don’t believe in the Luscious Lesbian Leprechaun Goddess, she doesn’t really give a shit. She doesn’t blame you either, since you are too feeble-minded and spineless to crawl out from under that blinding rock you live beneath! She has nothing but pity for you.

Jeffrey: how many things are laying around half-way fixed Doug?

Doug: Jeff, you haven’t made much sense so far, but that is ridonkulous! Lay off the crystal-meth, man!

Carap: why dont you guys just stop talking to him…even Jesus chose not to go back to certain places or people because they rejected him, you have to hear believe and then recieve, he doesnt believe so move on, we’re told not to throw pearls before swine, the pearls are the gift of salvation, how precious it is like a pearl and if we throw before swine the pigs will just move it around in the mud and treat it horrible, just move on

Doug: Spoken like a true pig! The reason they keep comin’ back is because in a fight like this they are protected by anonymity and thousands of miles of ocean. Now, Miss Piggy, why don’t you just move on, take your snout out of our business, and lead by example?

Doug: Pigs and worms and maggots and asses. Bunch of clucking chickens!

Jeffrey: Doug… You know I’m talking sense. You know it very well. You know I have been “around”. I can tell you that I have been in the deepest darkest depths of addiction, and have been free for 9 years. You say there are no miracles, but I am one. You want to say I’m weak, but the others who partied with me are dead or in jail. Gotta run for awhile, but I’ll check back in. God is good, even to such as Doug. I know because there was a time….

Doug: You’re confusing your story for mine. And you seem to be confusing the word ‘miracle’ for the word ‘mackeral’! You must have a fish for a head. You’re not still alive because your fake god specially chose to save you and not the others… you just didn’t dare to do as much shit as they did! My gosh, the arrogance of you assholes is simply stunning no matter how many times I hear it. So what’s the bid deal? You swapped one addiction for another. Now you’re addicted to spewing bullshit from that book of hate you can’t seem to get enough of. So fucking what! That the best argument you got? Well, you’re in deeper trouble than you thought.

Sampson: In accordance with Proverbs 14:7 I won’t partake in this discussion any further. Doug is a testimony of just how depraved man is in the absence of God’s grace. Proverbs 16:4, “The LORD has made everything for its own purpose, Even the wicked for the day of evil.”

Jeffrey: Again you plod along in your ignorance. You rail against the wind, kicking at you’re own conscience. You know you’re in darkness but your screams of let there be light avail you naught. The sad thing its the glob of cells you as an atheist relegate yourself to being deserves no better according your own tenents. You have the arrogance to denounce the Eternal God then call others arrogant. In essence, you’re false and it is apparent to all.

Doug: Talking to you guys is like going around in circles and my head is starting to spin. In accordance with the Lesbian Leprechaun’s rules, you shall not be judged for your evil insanity, just pitied. And to those (like Jeffrey) who talk to themselves, we should laugh and rejoice we are not alone and desperate. Oh, ye atheists of no faith – when will you ever learn? Now – enuff, bunch! Time to partay! If you want to do this again, you’d better get a crew of others who have real, fully formed ideas and an idea how to communicate them. Cheers!

Jeffrey: The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every one. For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil.

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

I couldn’t care less what people think of me, but God… that’s a different matter entirely.

 

Doug: Yeah, according to your evil little book of scribblings. Everything, including you pussies, begin and conclude in the abundant womb of the fabulously fun and wonderfully creative LLL Goddess! You should not blaspheme against her and my religion.

There are laws you know!

;0) Gurrrrrrruuuffff!!!

(Chuck and his gang of god-warriors ‘unfriended’ Doug shortly after this conversation. While they continue trying to help gullible folks find Jebus… Doug is sailing in the Carribean with his gang of real friends, Captain of the ship he sails!)

© 2010 Wordwurst

Jeffrey: Doug, you again don’t know me, but that ok… you are too full of yourself. I don’t need to curse you, you do with your own mouth. You try to shock people but I’ve been berated by paid professionals. You just come up loud but inconsequential.

Bobby: It’s obvious Chuck, that if he didn’t want to hear the gospel, or hear the truth, he would be off doing other things. I think he wants salvation.

Doug: I do not want nor need to be saved. Shit – you’re dumber than a sack of dung. And your allusion to bondage only gives the game away. You dressed up and tied up right now, are ya, Chuck? Is Jon and Bob treating you like the unworthy piece of crap you are? Okay then… I’ll let you get back to it! Enjoy, kids, enjoy!

Bobby: You can fool yourself Doug, but you can’t fool God. You obviously want what we have.

Chucky: Doug, You are the one who is tied up in bondage and you don’t realize it. God commands you to repent and trust in the blood of Jesus Christ.

Doug: He must be omnipotent like you, Chuck, ‘cus no matter how much he commands, I just flip him the paw. Obviously, you caved to his commands.

Goodbye girls – off to snort some coke off a beautiful bitch’s naked ass, and then enjoy a night long orgy – a normal one, though, not the kind you girly-boys would be interested in. So, you pray for me, ‘kay? And, of course, I’ll think for you! Toodle-oooh! ;0)

Bobby: I think he bugged out.

Bobby: Will do Doug, and Remember, we love you and God loves you.

Chucky: You shouldn’t do that Doug. You should stay home and read your bible instead. For the 10th time. What would you give for your soul? A line of coke?

Jeffrey: Nah.. you sound like more the angry tweaker type. How long since you last slept. I’ll enjoy great sex with my wife and I won’t come home with any “Bonus Gifts”. Yes we will pray for you, don’t worry. You’re not the only one who was ever angry with God.

Chucky: Doug, You can snort all the coke in the world and sleep with every woman but your life will still be empty and meaningless. Unless you repent from your wickedness and trust in Christ your only purpose in life will be to glorify God on the day he pours his mighty wrath out you.

Stapp: whtf have u been getting into down there chuck!!!! i just read all these comments and im a little creeped out bro!!! haha

Doug: Was halfway down the road when I realised I forgot the box of sex toys these hot bitches go crazy for. Came back to get it and here you girly-boys still are, talking bat-shit crazy stuff to me even though I’m gone! I think that sums it up, don’t you? You may as well be talking into empty space for all the good you’re doing.

Bob, fuck you, I don’t want your love, okay. Give it to these bunch of repressed homosexicals, okay?

Jeff, the only great sex you’ll enjoy is when you jerk your two inch flaccid rodent dick to The Passion snuff movie for christian gays. Yeah, I know you’ll pray for me – that’s how outrageously stoooopid you are. I’ll think for you, kay?

And Chuckyboy – things between us were going along okay with you and me here for a while, but now that your group of fag hags have joined in struttin’ their junk, well… I just don’t know anymore. They’s all a bunch o’ angry-assed hate-mongering mind-raping sucker of satan’s and god’s and jebus’ and the spirit’s cocks! Tell ’em to keep dat kind o’ shit in church where it b’longs and you and I can get back to your deconversion, fair enuff?

Now, I must be off to float in the heavenly sea of pretty dog ass!

It’s been real! ;0)

Stapp: yeah i believe in god im catholic n shit but i don’t take it to that level!!!

Carap: dont throw your pearls before swine…

Jeffrey: read the above thread and it is very easy to see where the hate lies. Its refreshing to see the hate, Christ said it would and should be this way.

Doug: Chuck and the girls take it at every level, and take it in every orifice – don’t you Chucky-boy?

John, I used to be a Catholic myself… but, y’know, y’grow. I’m happy to hear that you haven’t become like these clowns, they give your god an even worse name than he already has. It’s people like them that made me what I am today. I guess, in a way, I should be thankful to them for that.

Thanks, girls – mmwwwhhaaah! ;0)

Cara – you solipsistic arsehole. They weren’t throwing their ‘pearls’ before you! And, if you confuse lumps of turd with pearls, you are dumber than an old fat sow!

You can all try to dress up your hate as much as you like – like lipstick on a pig – but you’re fooling nobody. Every right thinking person knows that you’re sad sack of shit of a make-believe god is a liar, fornicator, rapist (Yes – he raped Mary, didn’t he? I mean, come on, she was a good girl and she was with Joseph, and god, without even marrying her first, comes along and shags her senseless! What a perv!), murderer, encourager of paedophilia, incest, rape, torture, killing, stealing and overall general naughty shenanigans!

Do you really think you’re fooling anyone with this holier-than-thou – oooh! look at me I’m so self-righteous and gorgeous that god thinks I’m just fab and will do me a few favors for all my attempts at good PR! Freakazoids, the lot of you. But if you ever get over it, maybe we could be friends – no leashes attached, no threats of eternal damnation, ‘kay. You’ll be safe with me cuz I actually care about people, I don’t pretend to, like some. It is not your god, but me, who is man’s best friend.

Stapp: the only time u will see me in church is a wedding or a funeral or if im in jail i go just to get out of the unit!!! hahaha but thats it for me i just can’t get into it…

Doug: My master is a therapist, Jeff, and I’ve learned much while sitting at his feet when he works with clients. You saying that I’m the hater – it’s called projection. I’d suggest that you see a doctor, but I’d actually prefer that your head slowly caves in for the lack of brain matter to hold it up. And, you’re right about saying that it’s very easy to see where the hate lies. You mother’s are filled with it – it oozes from every sanctimonious pore of your swollen corpulent sluglike bodies. Invasion of the body-snatchers. Sorry, Jeffrey, but the aliens got you. Don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault… :0)

Jeffrey: Do you still have your own teeth Doug, or has the meth-mouth set in yet? Picking at sores? Has your nose rotted out yet? Anyway… Have Fun you crazy guy you! You’re the one that said he was running off to do blow…

Doug: This canine has all his canines! How silly, Jeffrey – dogs don’t do meth. And that’s another thing – all you fuckers suffer a serious case of selective listening and a sad lack of a sense of humor! I said coke, not meth. The coke you’re doing must be very poor quality. I only do the best!

Sampson: Doug, you’re a testimony of who I could have been without the transforming Grace of God. Even an inconsistent, irrational atheist like yourself brings Glory to God. I just find it odd that you are calling us hateful, and yet you are the one launching all of the insults with no apparent intention of speaking as a mature adult dog.

I suspect the Holy Spirit is convicting you right now, drawing out an even more sinful and hate-filled response, but then again, that’s the natural response we sinners have to holiness – that is, until God chooses to remove our sinful hearts, and make us a new creature.

I’ll pray for you, Dog, that you don’t meet God’s wrath. It’s easy to breath out profanities against your Creator while there’s a breath in your lungs, but you too will cease to breath one day – no matter of arrogant boastful hatred will protect you from receiving Justice.

I don’t want that for you, and I’m sure Chuck doesn’t either. Repent, while you have time to do so.

Jeffrey: Now who’s a kidder… You’re anger is far more typical of a gak-fiend. Don’t be shy… we already know.

Doug: Good for you, John – you obviously still have a mind of your own. Which is a crime when it comes to these whining maggots and there mindless worship and following of an imaginary maniac. I wish you all the very best, John. It’s refreshing to speak to someone on here who is still sane. :0) Sampson – have you run out of ‘e’s?

Sampson: Owen, your comments here hardly demonstrate much sanity on your part. You just seem like a hate-filled sinner under conviction for his lifestyle.

Jeffrey: He’ll be back in a minute… he peeking out though the blinds.

Doug: Hey Sampson, if you have the time to do so, go fuck yourself. I am above you, not of you. You are mere mortal man. I am Dog!

Again, because you’re slow on the uptake, you scumbags just try to hide your disgusting filthy hatred behind platitudes and scripture while it is plain to see and hear that beneath the veneer you are a seething pit of evil vipers! There’s a saying you probably won’t understand: The meaning of your communication is in the response you get. Take a few days off to think about it, assuming you still have the ability to do so. Then, ask yourself, since this is the kind of response you get from enlightened humanitarians, what could the meaning of your communication about god and jebus and all that hocus-pocus fairy-tale nonsense mean?

And since it is a fairy-tale, does that mean you are a fairy? Nothing more disgusting than a fairy in denial judging a fairy who at least has enough balls to come out of the closet. Come on, Sam, it’s time. You can come out now. Stop repressing you’re latent nature. If Jebus were true, he was obviously a homosexual… so, if it’s good enough for him, is it not good enough for you?

I can look right into that black little heart of yours and see a flaming faggot just dying to burst forth and be free! It’s okay, Sammy baby, it’s okay. I won’t judge you like all those hypocritical party-poopers who call themselves christians but are nothing more than empty-headed charlatans. Don’t worry, it’ll get better! :0)

 Jeffrey: quick… check again… I’m sure I heard someone pull up…

Doug: That’s right, Jeff, let your mask down and show us all who you really are underneath your feeble pretence of piety… go on…

Sampson: Doug, you can’t present yourself as a voice of reason, or a loving alternative to Christianity when everything you post here is full of hatred and insults. Atheism is inherently irrational, perhaps that is what bothers you.

Doug: Oh, Sammy boy, the pipe, the pipe is calling! The only person trying to pretend he’s something he is not, is you – and the rest of your girly gang. You are an atheist, too. At least I’m not a scaredy-cat to admit it. Everything you post on here just shows that you have no idea what love or compassion is. Which is understandable – because the way you talk wouldn’t incline anyone in their right mind to show you love or compassion. You can go on pretending that the invisible mind-dildo loves you, if that makes you feel any better.

As for you, Flowery, maybe its time to lay off the jebus-juice. Paranoia seems to be annoyin’ ya. But remember, just ‘cuz you’re paranoid doesn’t mean that everyone isn’t out to get you. They are coming to take you away – ha-ha hee-hee ho-ho! To the funny farm. ;0)

Jeffrey: ‎”because the way you talk wouldn’t incline anyone in their right mind to show you love or compassion.” Doug… truer words have not been spoken.

Doug: Finally, we agree on something, eh? Who’d a thunk it?

Jeffrey: yes but I’m talking about you… 🙂

Doug: I know you think you are. But I also know how to read between the lines (subtext) and get who you’re really talking to. Its okay, your secret is safe with me. Now that you’re beginning to ‘fess up to the truth, you just might be okay some day. Miracles don’t happen, but people can change. Fingers crossed.

(tbc…)

© 2010 Wordwurst

RK Can you believe that there is a protest in Ireland today where all women are asked not to go to mass to protest that there are no female priests! Dont think that will get much support…anyone under fifty generally does not go to mass anyway and anyone over fifty is completely against woman priests!!! Ahhh you gotta laugh at these feminists though…

RMcA They must have nothing better to do!

TtT they should stay at home cooking and cleaning if they have nothing better to do LMAO 😉

FH I say your wall under 50 and going to mass.i’ve lost faith in the Irish and world church.i’ve sold my stock in it and now all my stock is in islam.

OM Why would any woman in Ireland want to be a priest? I dont’ get it!

RK Exactly Rita! O, I do not know why any woman would want to be a priest, especially with the state of the church in Ireland. Every day there is some new scandal.

OM That’s what I mean! Why would anyone want to belong to such a sick, corrupt organisation? Why don’t these women get together and form their own religion – one where they leave the goddamn kids alone! 😉

JK I NEVER LOST MY FAITH. HAS I ALL WAY SAY NEVER LOOK ON ANY ONE UNLESS YOU ARE GOING TO PICK THEM UP

OM I’m not sure what that means, John…?

JK MY FAITH IS IN GOD ONLY, IF PEOPLE HAVE NO FAITH THATS GOOD TO

OM Weird – my last comment seems to have disappeared for some reason.

John, I was just sayng that maybe you don’t know that your caps lock is on. I was asking if you think it’s a good thing for people to believe in things they do not have evidence for? Is that not a fair question for me to ask? If it offended you it wasn’t my intention. I apologise for being curious about and interested in your faith. I’ll just shutup then. Cheers!

JK dont worry take care all

FH In the muslim world their is no pedofiles Because they be stoned to deat if they did anything to a child.

OM Fionn – you’re a funny guy and are obviously joking! It is my understanding that the so-called Prophet Muhammed married a 6 yr old girl named Aisha and had sex with her when she was 9. My muslim friend told me yesterday that a muslim man can marry a girl of any age and can have sex with her when she reaches puberty – whatever age that may be. With that in mind, do you really think this is something you should be joking about? Just curious. But, go ahead, ignore me – most people who cannot argue their position usually do!! 😉

FH That’s in poor area’s of muslim’s country’s like in some parts of nigera and some place’s like that.

KG Feres Querine Intellituim – Faith seeking understanding . We are born with Faith ,its the seeking to understand . The existance of God is in our Children and Animals ,for they too have no voice but yet contain the mystery of Gods existance…. Many Theologians have stood before a pope and aurgued against the Hiearchy of one Branch of a Church . The Roman Catholic Church is there to show us what not to do . Leonardo Boff Theologian of Latin America wrote a 26 page Letter to the Vatican 2 Council of 1962 stating that a church must come from grass roots up and Not from the Sky Down . This is called Liberation Theology . would one attend a celebration of The Eurchurist if priest had family and was married ? Today marks the end of Patriarchal cycle and marks the beginning of The Matriarchal . For nutrance in order to find the understanding of your faith . Another question upon death do you want a priest to give you your last rites , to stand and hold ceremony to your passing in order to comfort your loved ones who mourn ? This is a tradition of Faith of which all celebrate the faith that dwells inside us ,no matter what domain it is . With the Ordiance of Nature as we are all part of and can not depart from only in death . Has this wonderous Majestic genius design planet no creator ? In the 15th Century Bible Mary Magdeline was removed by the Roman Catholic Church as Jesus partner . A Dei Verbertum letter does exsist stating the Church wanted to control women’s lives . The RC has died and a resurrection like Jesus death has come again proven of GOD’S exsistance . The following of women in to the Priesthood is the union of Mary and Jesus . Dan Brown may have written a book about it ,but he did read the Bible of 15th Century . This Morning I listened to the Gospel of which it is Jesus you recognise his true Servants of his word . And will close the door on those who do not serve him . I am a woman I am studying Theology ,I am a Catholic who attended Mass and celebrated the Holy Eurchrist with two Priest’s who followed their hearts and got married . They serve the word of God and from them I hear it . Now having said all this would you want to see me celebrate with you ?

Tim O’ Donoghue You say it all there K!! Very impressive argument!!

OM Hi K, just wondering about you saying we are born with faith. Do you mean every single person? I wasn’t. Nor many people I know. I didn’t have it then, don’t have it now. Since the Roman Catholic Church is there to show us what not to d…o, well, I guess you mean that literally -for example: we should not rape and torture people, especially children. I guess they’re showing us what not to do in this area quite a lot. Is Liberation Theology an oxymoron? How can you be free if you are a slave? Nutrance – what’s that? I will definitely not choose to have a priest or any so-called ‘holy’ person giving me anything when I die… so, where does that leave me? You ask if the world has a creator and still nobody yet has any proof either way – so, the most honest thing anyone can say is: I don’t know. I guess that’s where believing something without evidence comes in. To answer your last question – no, I wouldn’t care to see you or anyone celebrating whatever it is you’re talking about (you really lost me with what you said because it simply makes no sense in a grammatical way, and, unfortunately, that’s all we’ve got here in writing). What I’d like to know from someone who claims to know the mind of god (that supposedly god itself said we could not!) why it is that with everyone praying and prayer working sometimes, getting god to intervene on our behalf, he hasn’t yet decided to stop the priests (and other pedarests) from raping and torturing children? I wish someone would tell me a good reason. The well is full of pennies. I hope you can help – being a catholic studying theology and being friends with two men who follow a book that calls their nature an abomination and all. Sincerely, O 😉

KG I apologise as I too am on a journey of seeking to understand my Faith . If you and I traveled around the World . Each culture has a Book that has been handed down by the Past . Collective they talk about Faith . From Ancient Egypt right up to the present Humankind writes about how they start with ‘Reason ‘ logic explainations of what we see . Yet this yerning craving as you put it to see God ( to which in theology regarded as proof of your faith existance ,because you called God ,God and not by any other name ) your questioning is also showing the birth of your Theology ‘ talk of GOD’S word . So there is the presentation of your faith born inside you . You question god therefore you are seeking an understanding . Philosophy Reason came first followed by Theology . Both are attributes of Human making being a reality . Your reality is you and your essenance . Child Abuse is a crime againist God exsistance here on earth . The fact that the truth behind these crimes never went away . Means for me that the Wrath of God came from those who lied and covered up . The Roman Catholic Church do not represent the Holy Covenant . For the lies and deceit has shown us the Moral Evil , to which we have come to known . There is no fitting punishment on this Earth that will give us Justice . The Holy Covenant is not the wine and bread which we where led to believe . It is the people . The second Coming is not in what this Hiearchy have said . It is the people who have seen the true identities of Christ , buddha muhammad all the Prophets and Saints . I too have here expressed my deep anger towards this false Church . Because of 3 of my family Members where Raped in Letterfranc and Goldenbridge . Yvonne ,Billy and Vincent . Yvonne & Billy Committed Sucidie and my cousin Vincent faced the Moriarty Tribunal alone. My Family & I sat by his side as we looked on powerless and watch a 43 year old man in agony cry as a priest stood up pointed at him and yelled Liar . I stood up and shouted you are the liar of which you lied to God therefore he will shut his door on the imposter . O you are the living embodiment of God .I am we all are . Parents who have children sacrifice their lives by clothing educating loving their Children that is tradition of Faith . Our sOuls are with us noone can take it away . As a woman I want to be able to particpate in knowing that my reason has the accomplishments of my faith . O when I look around and see death ,pain decay violence I stop Campaign and pray for it to end . My prayers for the lies of the Church for me where answered . I am here , we are the Holy Covenant are here . I want peace . For the anger is killing me . I am considering the priesthood and Marrying have children . In honour of my dead relatives . Never put yourself down O by calling yourself an idiot . Just take your power back and spread Peace .xx Happiness is the key for me . I attended a funeral of which nothing was done or said not even a toast to my aunts memory . It was very depressing and extremely lonely . you have your freewill to do whatever you wish at your funeral.

OM Thanks for taking the time to write that. By this logic, am I to take it that when a friend of mine talks about his belief in aliens and I ask him about that, that is the presentation of my faith inside me? My faith in the existence of aliens? I’m confused. 😦

KG O there are Societies organisations that gather and talk about their faith of aliens existance . When you attended your friends gathering or his talk about it . Give respect But you have the right too in regards to discussing your faith . I too have met people of different faiths . But R status was about  women becoming priests and those who protest . Which is why we have Protestant faith to which they are christians who Protested agianist the ROMAN Cathoilc Church 15th Century on two things , viginity of Mary and why Women should join the Ministery of Faith.. I too have met people of different faiths . But R status was about women becoming priests and those who protest . Which is why we have Protestant faith to which they are christians who Protested agianist the ROMAN Cathoilc Church 15th Century on two things , viginity of Mary and why Women should join the Ministery of Faith.

O Marshal ‎$cientology, invented by an alchoholic drug-addicted science-fiction writer, talks about Xenu the Evil Emperor getting rid of his overpopulated planet by taking the people on planes to earth and dropping them into volcanoes where their spirits rose up out of their charred bodies and attached themselves in clusters to the human race and are as a result the source of all our problems and when we ‘clear’ ourselves of these thetans we’ll all be happy and living in peace together. Are you really saying I should ‘respect’ this ridonkulous idea? Do tell… 😉

K Golden Every one has free will to stay or leave . Makes a great episode for Star Trex ? God bless Gene Rodenberry . The main Thesis to R Status . Would the Church Support women priest . I am considering . Protesting by Boycotting has its advantages and disadvantage . Question remains would one attend Mass if the priesthood was of equal gender ? Question is directed at those who believe in the Christian faith . O please stick to Rosiemarie Status and not pass judgement on peoples faith .

K Golden I leave with a quote from a Man who proclaimed to be a Failed artist on canvas but has become art ,he was crucified as the first westerner ,a Drug Addict ,a Prostitute , A Dandy , Wittist author of ‘ Dandy in the Underworld ‘ a son ,a husband , a Lover a Gentleman . A loyal friend . ” I am a poet , I do not create poetry , God Creates I assemble” Sebastian Horsley . 1962 – 2010 RIP

OM I thought you said earlier something about respecting another’s religion/faith, which is why I asked the above question about Scientology. You have not answered. You now switch it to not judging people’s faith. Okay, I have the same question about that: are you saying that I shouldn’t judge the faith of Scientology based on the unproven and fantastical ideas they believe in? If I do not judge it, how can I decide whether I want to follow it or not? Do you see why I’m confused by your proclamation? If I don’t judge any faith, how do I choose which faith to have faith in? I would be grateful if you’d just answer this one question as you have not answered any of them so far, and without any answers I feel this is going around in shallow circles. Thanks for your patience.

KG you called it ridiculous that is not judging that is passing judgement in a prejudgement manner . To seek understanding a Faith . Start with ok I am born with Faith . Through Philosophy & Theology . Philo Sophia lover of Wisdom . I will read the Theo logius . Their logic perspective on their written word of God . Through that by using what I inherited at birth Faith in Seeking Understanding .. What has been written talked debated practised and finally believed in . In order to complete the circle of which you travel . ” I can never find the limits of my soul , no matter how many roads I took , so deep is its Mystery ” Heraculitus . Happy travelling . 

OM You say calling it ridiculous is not judging. Then go on to say that it is passing judgement in a prejudgement manner. Which, I think means, that you are making the judgement that I prejudged Scientology – judged them before I knew about them. I don’t know what may have given you that idea. I am a veritable expert on the cult of Scientology and there is nothing prejudiced in my comments. Yet again, K, meaning well as you do, you haven’t answered me in any understandable way. Maybe it’s just that I’m not used to reading lines of words with full-stops thrown in at random, and as a result, not one sentence making sense. So none of this was in vain, do you think you’d be so kind as to simply say yes or no to the following questions: Are you saying I should respect ALL religious beliefs – no matter what they are? Are you saying I should not judge ANY religious beliefs – no matter what they are? I’d be truly grateful if you could succinctly clear this up for me. Thanks. O

KG O read Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift . And yes are pre judging all of religion’s and their tradition’s . That is how you are confused . Go down to Middle Abbey Street and tell the Sciencetologist what you just said about them .Go… to Milstreet School of pHilosophy, Go to the proCatherdral Church and tell them to their face what you think of them . Go to Meath and tell the Budhist was you think of them . Go down to the South Cicular road and tell the Muslims what you think of them .Go to Rialto Canal and tell the Rabbi what you think of them . Go to Fairview and tell the Vicar what you think of them . Go to Parliment Street and tell the propietor of House of Astrology what you think of them . Go to Clonegal and tell Lady Olivia what you think of her in the Temple of Isis . Go to Lahinch and tell John Mac Carthy what you think of clare Evangleist Church . Go to where ever Doreen Marron is reading Tarot cards and tell her what you are thinking . And when you have finished travelling . Remember this you, have not left this Island and yet you have travelled through 2 milleniums of tradition’s of Faith . Have a cup of tea sit on a rock and realise Hey I am alive to do all that . All that I ask is that you do it with a happy heart and not an angry one .

OM Again, thank you for your words. And thank you for answering me. I’m not sure how we got to you judging that I have pre-judged all religions and even Tarot card readers and so on. Reading back over these writings I cannot find that anywhere. I did all my research about Scientology and gave my judgement on them. You have answered my question about religion, I think – and say that I should not prejudge them. Are you specifically saying that even after I’ve checked into and researched one of them I am still not allowed to judge them negatively?

KG no O you make your mind up if you like or dislike stay or walk away . I mentioned all those domian of Fatih Cause I walked that road . Have chosen Old 5th Century Catholism where Priest are allowed to marry . latin masses too . Atheism is a tradition of faith too . Lol forgot about that one .

OM Great. I’m so glad we sorted that out. You do think I am within my rights to judge. Whew! Now, sorry to have to say this, but Atheism is NOT a faith. If I do not believe in a supernatural god like you do, it does not require faith. If that …were the case, then my disbelief in leprechauns and unicorns would also be a faith – and as we both know, that would be ridiculous. In fact, it would mean that I had thousands upon thousands of faiths because there are so many things I don’t believe in. Since I am an Atheist I would kindly ask that you not spread the erroneous propaganda that Atheism is anything more than not believing is something unprovable. However, you are free – as you know – to do as you choose. I just don’t want you to look really silly if you say that around any thinking person. LOL! 😉

KG oh but it is once there are more than one and if you look thru history fairies leprechaun Ghosts gobblins where believed Vampires .there is no escape from passing from reason to faith . It is all down to communicating . How did that Theolo…gy of non existance of God come about . Through a writer who thought about God wrote about it in a very Theologian Mode of discourse .” I do not believe in the existance of God” yeah but you had thought about him in order to disowned and you with your basic human curiosity thought about it too . Faith Seeking Understanding . And I am not a fool nor afraid . That you and I are the source of inspiration to all of Talk on what is occupying Our time on earth . By the way I may say and have the right to say . Priest’s ordained in the Roman Catholic Church of which there is thousand’s doing great work and innocent . Only 80 have been named . The downfall is their cover up on these 80 criminals . O you have a good life and wish you all the best in the world . God bless

OM Thank you, K. And may the Lord of The Pixies sprinkle you with magic poof dust and bless you! Be well! 🙂

THOU SHALT NOT 7

This is right to the point. Don’t do adultery, right?

Simple, no?

Yes. As you know, and I don’t need to tell you, and you knew I was going to say that anyway… What, specifically do you mean by adultery?

Why don’t you look up that book of yours and stop bothering me with your silliness!

Dic says: Adultery [uhduhl-tuh-ree]   –noun, plural -ter·ies. voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse. Does that about sum it up for you?

I have no qualms with that.

Good. So, I’m wondering… if the sex is voluntary, then why do you call it a sin and command us never to do it?

Because the married person would be cheating on his wife.

Cheating, eh? And what’s that when it’s at home for the evening?

Cheating is being untrue, unfaithful, breaking your word, your promise! That’s not allowed!

Well, don’t raise your voice at me, Mr God! – how in your name was I supposed to know that being untrue, unfaithful, breaking your word, your promise was not allowed? You haven’t said a word about any of those in your commandments so far!

Have I not? Well, even so – you should know that anyway.

Why? Your followers tend to think that we get our morals from you and nowhere else.

That’s true. You get everything from me. I am the Beginning and the End. I am the Giver and the Taketh awayer!

Okay, so you give us everything – including the desire to want to jump some hot chick even when we’re married…

Mmmm Latina hot?

Sure. Whatever you like. And while you’re thinking about that one, Mr God, perhaps you’d say whether it would still be a sin to break this commandment if the man’s wife was, let’s say, a voyeur and got her rocks off acting like a peeping Tom and actually instructed her husband to commit adultery… then, I mean, he wouldn’t be cheating then, right?

As my son said –

Which one?

Oh, yes, quite. My number one son – Jesus of Nazareth.

He’s your favourite then is he, dad? That’s not the nicest thing to hear you know, if you put yourself in my position. It kinda sucks really, if you wanna know the truth.

Come on, son. He was special because he… well, he was actually me!

That’s right. And the Holy Ghost – was he part of it too, part of the long, drawn out torture scene?

It’s hard to tell with the Ghost, but yes, I felt his presence. Anyway, as I said once, or maybe twice, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That should clear this up. Just get into the vibe of that, son, and you’ll gain wisdom.

I don’t think so. It’s more like you’ve just thrown a Spaniard in the works!

Mmmm Spanish hot!

I mean, what if the man’s wife, as well as being a voyeur, is also into S&M, bondage, and all that whips and chains, leather and rubber stuff, you know?

Yes. Go on…

What if she were to take your last instruction to heart? She likes being whipped and beaten, spanked and fisted, so what you’re saying is, and correct me if I’m wrong, that she should do (those things) unto others because that is what she’d have them do unto her?

Ah Jesus, come on now, you’re twisting my words!

Thomas, actually! And I’m not – I’m simply testing the meaning and validity of the words by putting them into a context. In this context, they don’t really hold up, do they? I mean, you of all supreme beings – not that there are any others, but if there were – you of all should be able to see how us stupid humans who can never understand you anyway often find your utterances to be ambiguous and absurd.

I put it the best way I could at the time I thought it up. It sounded really good then… but, yes, if I could change it, I would, but to what?

Try this on for size: Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.

Interesting. Let me digest that momentarily. Okay, I think I get it… but how would one human know how another human wanted to be done unto? As you rightly point out, you are all basically stupid.

That’s the cool part. They’d have to find out instead of assume. They’d have to get to know each other for who they really are and not through the blood-tinted glasses with the broken frames of bigoted religious beliefs that by their very nature are exclusive and divisive. Instead of wishing and praying, we could be learning and enjoying, accepting and exploring, getting a deeper understanding.

Like I said, stupid. You presuppose that humans know what’s good for them and can choose accordingly. They cannot. That’s why they need a Big Baddy to lay down the law wearing a glove of steel and velvet. They need my intervention from time to time.

What happened to free-will, daddy-o?!

(God shuffled his feet.)

© 2010 Wordwurst

THOU SHALT NOT 5

5. Honor thy father and thy mother.

That’s pretty sweeping, isn’t it? I mean, when, where, how, why, and for how long?

All the time. Anywhere. By showing them the respect and giving them the dignity they deserve. Because they created you – you owe them everything, including your life. Forever. Amen.

I see. That sounds like a fairly tall order, don’t you think? You also presuppose that a person should be grateful for being brought into this world, that it’s simply a given. But, did it ever occur to you that maybe some people don’t want to be sucked onto this planet and held down by gravity for a human lifetime? You make it sound as though the child is automatically responsible for its parents – their sense of respect and dignity – and somehow owes them its life. I don’t get that, Mr God. If it has to be that way at all, then why not the other way around?

What other way around?

Since the parents made a conscious decision (assuming that anyway) to have the child, and the child had no say in the matter, then doesn’t it stand to reason that it should be the parents who are responsible for the child and they, in fact, owe it their lives?

Do you have any children of your own?

Uhh – you got me there, Mr God. What do you mean?

I mean what I say!

I mean, is this a trick question or something?

What do you think I am, a magician or something?

Well, actually, yes, sort of. Aren’t you?

I am Everything and Nothing!

I won’t pretend to know what that means, but it sounds kind of cool. Anyway, what I was trying to say was that your question threw me a little because… well, you know… you know everything.

So?

Well, you do know how many children I have, don’t you?

Ridiculous and ludicrous! Since I know every hair on your head, how could I not know how many children you have?

Well, since you put it that way, yes, I guess it would be crazy… since you know everything and all. You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to.

You’re losing me, son. Can you hurry this up?

Okay, I’m ready to wrap this one up, I think. I just want to make sure that this commandment applies to all children – which is to say, every person of every age – at all times. Can you speak to that for a moment, Mr God?

Yes, for everyone, at all times. That’s the point of these commandments, son – don’t you get it yet? This is the law I have laid down for you to live by. I gave you life in the first place. I am the decider!

Hey, did you just quote George Dubya Bush? You joker! That’s funny. I’m kind of relieved somewhat to find you have a sense of humor. I like that. That’s a likeable trait.

Oh, well, yes. Thank you. Please, carry on…

I’m just talking about when you smile like that – yes, that’s it, just like that! – you lighten up and there seems to be a softer, more loving God that comes to the surface, you know… kinda like Dubya – the kind of guy I’d like to sit and have a beer with, shoot the breeze and chill coolin’ in the suds, if you get what I’m sayin’…

Gosh, I… I don’t know… what to say…

Wow – who’d ever have thunk it? God speechless! Far out! Hey, are you blushing? Is that a little pink under that white beard?

Naaahh…

Oh, Mr God, are you crying? Soaking that bushy beard? It’s all right, you just let it all out now… but what is it? What’s making you cry like a Little Miss Sunshine who’s just lost the competition?

Nobody’s ever… well, treated me like this. You said you’d like to chill with me, like a friend, just hang. All I ever get is people asking me for stuff. And you know what sucks? They do it all week long, but come Sunday – my one and only day off – they really blast me out of it. Even if they offer me something, it’s always with some hidden agenda, you know. Like, Dear God, o deargododeargododeargod, I want to show you my adoration by staying off of chocolate this Lent. I shall do it in your name! It is a tremendous sacrifice – but, of course, what am I saying? – you already know that, don’t you? Anyway, hope all is well with you… and your… you and the angels. I’m about 3 stone overweight right now and if you could see your way to helping me shed the pounds, I’d be eternally grateful and would owe you even more adoration and praise and worship, as we move forward, you and I, olord, on the ground… crawling over lines in the sand, getting tired sometimes, redoubling our efforts… as we go into the future, hand in hand, and, sometimes, you carrying me when I cannot bear to go on due to thirst, hunger and imminent death darkening everything in its vampire-like black shadow, leaving only your footsteps in the sand… ad nauseum.

Oh, come on now, Mr God… here, use this handkerchief. I promise you it’s clean.

I already knew that.

Of course you did. And you know how you’re saying in this commandment – your number 5 in your Top 10 – that all children should always honor their parents, right?

I do. I am saying that. It’s what it says on the tin, isn’t it? Why’s it so hard communicating with you people?

Only you know that.

? –

So, if a child was brought up by parents who were neglectful, abusive, and without a shred of compassion or love in their bones, that child should honor them anyway – to hell with what they did, the way they acted, just honor them anyway, whether they deserve it or not – is that what you are actually saying… I mean literally?

I keep telling you, my son, I gave you free-will. People get to choose. And that’s more than what some of us get, if you get my meaning. Anyway, what kind of tyrant would I be if I didn’t give you free-will? You’d be like brain

dead zombies or robots or something. And what fun would that be?

That’s an interesting way of looking at it, I’ll give you that. And, on that very point, free-will… tell me, Mr God, when you think of the defenceless, small doll-like child being abused by some grown up human being, I’m just wondering, you know… where’s that child’s free-will?

It’s not that simple. I have a divine plan, you’ll just have to trust me on that. And even if I tried to explain it to you, you wouldn’t understand.

But, I thought you were omnific – that you could do anything you wanted to do.

I can. But, it gets complicated, you know?

I see that it does. You are all powerful and all mighty and yet you cannot explain to us humans in a way we’d understand what your divine plan is. Surely, the fact that you cannot do something negates the claim to be able to do anything, right? Anyway, am I to understand that your divine plan, the one that you dreamed up, designed and are right now manifesting into existence includes innocent children being raped and tortured by some of the human beings that… well, dare I say it?

Say it!

That you created. Since that’s what’s happening, then we can conclude that its part of your divine plan.

I work in mysterious ways! You cannot know my divine plan!

Why not?

Why not?! What? Preposterous and red-boiled lobsterous! We covered this, didn’t we? Do you have Alzheimer’s son?

Do I?

If I reveal my cunning plan and prove my existence then you would no longer have the wonderful gift – the gift I saw fit to bestow on you – of free-will. And look at the thanks I get! Ingrate!

So, I take it that you’re not going to answer my question about the little children… the little children who have to suffer to come unto you. What in the hell does that mean anyway? There’s so many things wrong with that sentence. Firstly, you decree that all the children must suffer? Why? Did you suffer? Are you just sharing the suffering? Trying to get us to carry the cross for your sins the way you made your (as far as we know) only son be tortured to death on two planks of wood stuck together?

I Am The Son! And The Holy Ghost, too! We are the Holy Trinity. We are three, yet we are one!

And I am the walrus, goo googa joob! So, to change the subject  here for a brief moment, and get back to it in even less time, isn’t suicide a sin? A whopper sized sin?

You can count on it!

So, if you are your son, then didn’t you kill yourself? Commit suicide, as it were?

You are my son, and you shalt honor me as you shalt your mother and father, but even more, and you shalt not try to be a smartass with me!

Gotcha, Big Guy! Guess you’re not going to touch that one – and I don’t blame you. I know I couldn’t defend it myself… but then again, you’re God, right. The Big G! You don’t have to explain anything to us. And we wouldn’t get it even if you did. Not because you failed to communicate effectively, but that we failed to understand you, stupid us!? So, before we go around in circles here, like dogs chasing their own tails –

Or licking their own balls –

Yes, okay, then, it could be like that too. Tell me, Mr God, what’s your number 6 in the Top 10 of All Time?… (Next blog: Thou Shalt Not Kill!)

© 2010 Owen Pardue

THOU SHALT NOT 4

Remember the Sabbath day to keep it Holy.

Well put. How simple can you get?

Right! That’s what I’m saying.

I guess, you could say it this way, too – Keep the Sabbath Day Holy?

Certainly.

Forgive my ignorance, but what is the Sabbath Day? And why should I remember to keep it Holy? And what is Holy anyway?

Go on, then, look it up in you dictionary book thingy!

It says: noun

1. the seventh day of the week, Saturday, as the day of rest and religious observance among Jews and some Christians. Ex. 20:8–11.

2. the first day of the week, Sunday, similarly observed by most Christians in commemoration of the Resurrection of Christ.

3. any special day of prayer or rest resembling the Sabbath: Friday is the Muslim Sabbath.

I’m just confused. Which one is it? Is it Saturday? Is it Sunday? Is it any old day at all? And if so, does that mean I have to keep every day Holy? And if not, why do I only have to keep one day Holy? I suppose it might help if I were to really understand the word Holy, eh?

Let’s check the Dic. As an adjective, it tells us, 1.  specially recognized as or declared sacred by religious use or authority; consecrated: holy ground.

2. dedicated or devoted to the service of god, the church, or religion: a holy man.

3.saintly; godly; pious; devout:a holy life.

4. having a spiritually pure quality: a holy love.

5. entitled to worship or veneration as or as if sacred: a holy relic.

6. religious: holy rites.

7. inspiring fear, awe, or grave distress: The director, when angry, is a holy terror.

You know, I still don’t really know what it is. I could pretend to, if you want, but –

I Am Holy! Holy is God, God is me, I am He, and we are all together. You’ve heard of the Holy Trinity, haven’t you?

No, but I’ve heard of the Fab 4! Ta-Dah! Maybe I should worship the Beatles? Maybe when John said they were bigger than Jesus, he meant that they were also greater and more god-like. If I asked him to prove he was god, he’d tell me not to tempt him. But no, knowing John (as I didn’t), he’d most likely have said: God is a concept by which we measure our pain. And then, he’d say it again. And he’d say, I don’t believe in Jesus, I don’t believe in Elvis, I don’t believe in Kings, I don’t believe in Beatles… I just believe in me.

He was a blasphemer! Everyone knows what happens to those who blaspheme!

Is that, like, to take your name in vain?

Yes. And I already warned you about that. Now, look at the time! You really want to get your skates on, son!

You know how you made us and all, right?

Sure.

Well, you know how you deliberately made us forgetful because if you hadn’t done it deliberately then it would have been a mistake and since you are omnific and therefore by definition cannot make any mistakes, you made us forgetful sometimes, right?

Yes, humans are forgetful creatures all right. Elephants have better memories than you lot…

Well, if you made us to be forgetful sometimes, and sometimes that forgetfulness falls upon the Sabbath Day – whatever day that is – why don’t you simply forgive us and get on with more important things, like, ending world hunger, or creating a plan for peace and love?

Don’t blame me! You have free-will – I gave that to you, a gift from my heart – and what thanks do I get? I just get it thrown back in my face all the time! I will not be held responsible for my children!

Mr God, I have to warn you – if you’re going to mingle with the people on this planet, you better not say that! You’d be locked up, if not stoned to death by an angry, religious mob first.

I will not be held responsible for my children! I gave you free-will!

Sssshh…. Keep it down! You’d be the first to agree that parents are responsible for the children they create and bring into this world helpless, dependent, in need of love and understanding, hugs and kisses. What age were we when you kicked us out of your house and washed your hands of us? Were we over 18?

Your man-made laws hold no sway over me. They are beneath me. You can never understand me!

Then why do you bother trying to communicate with us at all? What’s the point? You made us too stupid to conceive of you, to understand you in any meaningful way, so why bother?

Sometimes I ask myself that very question. Why do I bother? It’s a good one all right.

Did you ever consider giving up?

Oh, no, never. I have a dream. A vision. I am compelled and driven to realise it.

I get that. Really, I do. But, what’s the problem? You’re God with a capital G, dude! If you want it to be that way, and you are the supreme ruler, the be all and end all, the alpha and the omega, omni-everything, then why don’t you just make it like that? You could just fold your arms, wink your eyes and crinkle your nose like Jeannie on that old TV show called I Dream of Jeannie, and – Pooft! – your dream made manifest. So, I just don’t get what’s the problem.

Yeah, well, that’s because you cannot conceive of me or the world I live in, and who my masters are, and so on and so forth. So, let’s just move on, shalt you!

I shall. Just tell me this. Which day should I keep Holy?

That’d be telling! You are free to make your own decision, son. I just hope, for your sake, it’s the right one. And there’s only one right one!

Okay. I don’t have to choose right now, do I? Oh, cool. Because I really do want to think about that one a bit more before making any rash decisions. You know what I’m saying, big Guy?

Now you’re getting the hang of it!

Thanks, dad!

God! Call me God!

God!

Good. Now onto my 5th favourite commandment. Honor thy father and thy mother…

© 2010 ORPS6

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images.

Yeah, I hear what you mean. You’re simply saying that I shouldn’t have any graven images in front of me. It does sound straightforward and unambiguous. At a surface listen. First, I think we need to understand the meaning of graven, I mean, it’s not a word you hear a lot thesedays. On earth, as you know, most humans agree what words mean, you know, so they can communicate effectively with each other. We can look up words and their meanings in the dictionary. The Dic say: grav·en –verb 1.a pp. of grave3 . –adjective 2. deeply impressed; firmly fixed. 3. carved; sculptured: a graven idol. Now, Mr God, is that what you mean when you say graven?

Can you give it to me in a sentence?

Certainly. They went up to the great graven tomb of the historic warrior, and stood for a few minutes staring at it.

Yes, I think that’s it.

So, we know what graven is – but images of what? What can we not have graven images of?

Oh, I thought that was self-explanatory. I meant before me, not before you. Did it come across that I meant you? Sorry about that. I see what you mean now that you point it out. I’m glad we cleared that up.

And what might these images be?

Well, you know. Look – if you’d understood the first Commandment, you’d know exactly what I mean? Come on now, son, didn’t you do your homework?

Thomas.

No. I’m God! I thought we’d just cleared that up! Aren’t you paying attention?!

As long as one of us is… So, to sum up, you don’t want me to imagine anyone in my head, or make a graven image of anyone that may take some of the love and worship and thanks and praise that you feel is your due, and that you need to get a certain amount of each day or else you’d just burst into dust? Is that it?

Wrong! I do not need it. I cannot turn into dust. I am immortal, like your soul, and I and only I make the final judgement as to where your soul is going to go for eternity. So, you’d better show some respect, son.

Okay, dad. But seriously, I just really want to know. How can I get your meaning if I don’t understand what you’re saying? That’s fair enough, isn’t it?

Go on.

Just tell me who cannot appear in the graven images of my mind or the graven images on paper or cloth or TV or my computer screen. Surely you don’t mean all images, period? That would be impossible. So, to be specific, which ones do you mean? Or shouldn’t I know?

Of course you should know. I just thought it was obvious. No other images of gods.

But there are no gods, you said, just you.

I did. That’s right. But, as you said, people have imaginations and might get images of what they imagine to be other gods and that image may get in between them and Me. They might get confused along the line and think that the graven image they have created and worshiped is god.

Well, since you are god, they’d be mistaken then. So what?

So, a lot! They’d stop believing in me.

I hear you. But why’s that a problem? You say you won’t burst into dust like a ‘take-all-the-credit’ vampire, so what –

No, no, no. You’ve got it backwards. It’ll be their problem, not mine.

And why is that?

Because they’ll be cast upon the lake of fire for eternity – you know, writhing in agony, gnashing of teeth – and that’ll be a big problem for them. And that’s why they need to obey this commandment. They can obey it or not, their choice. Free will, you know. I’m fair about it. I believe in choices and all that individuality stuff and all. Up with people and all that jazz.

I see. Okay, then. Before we move onto number 3, can I just clarify? You say that there isn’t a problem for you when a person doesn’t believe in you, correct?

Correctomundo!

Since it’s not a problem for you, why do you make it a problem for them? If I knew that the joke I just told was funny, as a matter of plain fact, and the person I’d told it to didn’t get it and laugh, like you, I wouldn’t have a problem with that. But, unlike you, I wouldn’t want them to be tortured for eternity. Even if it was only for a limited period, I could kind of get my head around it. I mean, we all make mistakes and feel we should have the right to learn from them. If you just sent them to hell for, I don’t know, lets say a trillion years, then, when they get out on parole, you’d keep a watch on them and see if they had been truly rehabilitated and worthy of your forgiveness, no?

You speak and do not hear that you only sound off your ignorance. You say you’ve read the bible three times, but I doubt you’ve read it even once listening to the nonsense you come out with. You’re supposed to be a language and communication expert! Ha! You know what the definition of expert is, don’t you?

No. Go ahead, tell me.

An ex-spurt is a has-been-drip!

Who said you didn’t have a sense of humor?

I don’t know. Who? Tell me. I’ll –

Come on, dude, you’re freaking me out with your eyes bulging out and your skin turning purple – chillax! Take a chill-pill. Breathe! Remember: You want me to bring these commandments into the world, to share them amongst my fellow human-beings, with, I might add, no credible proof that you are who you say you are, and no evidence of these commandments being good ideas to live by… I’m just trying to get clarification… understanding. I’m going to have to answer their questions, and I need to know what you’d say. You can see that, can’t you, Mr God?

I see everything. What are you asking? I invented vision. I made your eyeballs – and aren’t they just amazing and mind-boggling?

Yes, I like to see. If it took you six days to create the whole world, how long did it take you to create the eye?

What does it matter?

It probably doesn’t. You’re right. I was just wondering if you were omnific. I thought you were everywhere, all the time, with unlimited powers of creation.

Congratulations, son. That’s the first thing you’ve got right so far!

Well, then why did it take you six whole days to create the whole wide world… and then, why did you have to take a day to rest and relax?

I’m not sure I follow –

If you are all powerful everywhere all the time, why would you need to, like us human beings, recharge your batteries, so to speak? And if so, where’s that power coming from? And is it not a greater power than you?

How so?

Well, you need it, it doesn’t need you. A bit like the way you’re describing your relationship with me to me.

What is this? I thought you were going to question me about my Top 10 Favorite Commandments?

That’s what I’m doing…

Well, get on with it, then! Ready or not, here’s Number 3…

(Next blog: Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord they God in vain.)

© 2010 ORPS6